All knowledge is, in final analysis, history; All sciences are, in the abstract, mathematics; All judgements are, in their rationale, statistics.

1. -C. R. Rao, Statistics and Truth: Putting Chance to Work, 1997
   

Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

- Aaron Levenstein

Statistics are human beings with the tears wiped off.

- Paul Brodeur, Outrageous Misconduct

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

- Author Unknown

Statistics are like women; mirrors of purest virtue and truth, or like whores to use as one pleases.

- Theodor Billroth

There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up and the kind you make up.

1. -Rex Stout, Death of a Doxy
   

Statistics may be defined as a body of methods for making wise decisions in the face of uncertainty.

1. -W. A. Wallis
   

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies - lies, damned lies, and statistics.

1. -Mark Twain, autobiography, 1904 (but, as yet no actual record of this under Disraeli's authorship)
   

The theory of probabilities is at bottom nothing but common sense reduced to calculus.

1. -Laplace
   

The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic.

1. -Joe Stalin, comment to Churchill at Potsdam, 1945